Funny Story

I have a funny story to share about the first time I was left alone with both the boys. However, I feel I must give a TMI warning. While this story is hilarious, it may be too much information for some of you. If you don't want to read about poop, please skip this post. Okay, you have been warned, so I don't want any comments saying I didn't warn you!
Okay. While I was in the hospital, they had me on a stool softener. I took 1 at night and 1 in the morning. My doctor gave me a prescription for the same stool softener I had been taking but the pharmacy said our insurance wouldn't cover it and that we should just buy an over the counter one, which Tyson did. We came home from the hospital on a Friday. That night I went to take the stool softener and it said to take 2 tablets once daily, maximum 4 tablets twice daily. Well, the hospital had me taking it twice a day so I should keep taking it twice a day right? The next day Tyson needed to run a couple of errands. He was going to take Blaine with him, but Blaine didn't want to leave me. (He was pretty clingy for a few days. I think he thought I was going to leave him again.) So, I told Tyson to not worry. I could handle the boys. The boys and I were doing great until I suddenly had to go to the bathroom. Now, we have a bathroom downstairs, but all my "down there care" stuff was upstairs. (What if one of our visitors needed to use the bathroom? I didn't want them to see my stuff!)
"Come on Blaine we need to go upstairs now!!" So Blaine, Eli and I start running up the stairs.... and I start pooping my pants! It's just coming and there's no stopping it. I hurry and put Eli in the bassinet and waddle to the bathroom. Poop is everywhere! On my sexy, Victoria's Secret hospital edition stretchy, mesh underwear, my garments, my pj bottoms, the floor etc. Blaine is laughing! He is pointing and saying "Poop!" Yes, Mommy pooped her pants. What should I do? I needed to call Tyson and have him come home. But, where is my phone? Downstairs. So, I make myself a towel diaper.
"Come on Blaine, we need to go downstairs!" (By this time Blaine has gotten over Mommy pooping her pants and is now entertaining himself by rocking the bassinet.) Blaine and I run downstairs, get my phone and run back upstairs. I called Tyson 6 times and he didn't answer. Now Eli is screaming because he wants a bottle. But, where's the stuff for the bottles? Downstairs. I secure my towel diaper.
"Come on Blaine, we need to go downstairs!"
I hold my diaper on with one hand while trying to make a bottle with the other hand. When we get back upstairs Tyson calls.
"Are you okay?"
"Yes, I mean no! I just pooped my pants! I need you now."
Tyson gets home and runs upstairs to see me sitting on my towel on the bed feeding Eli and Blaine running all over the room. Tyson headed for the bathroom to clean up but I was mortified at the thought of Tyson cleaning my poop. So I sent him and the boys downstairs while I cleaned. Later I called my mom to tell her about it she says "Are you sure that was a stool softener?" I checked the bottle.
Laxative.